Open
Heart “Surgery”: Transparency and Inner Healing
Copyright
2008 by Kat Allen
We all hear a lot of talk about
heart-centered practices these days. In
the Buddhist tradition there is metta
practice, meditations of loving-kindness. In the Orthodox Christian tradition, the emphasis of
knowledge and emotion is centered in the heart.
And in the deepest journey of yoga, there is “the awakening of the
cosmic soul within the physical form, inspiring us to align our individual
hearts with the universal call for action and service; the natural progression
of yoga beyond the body.”1
The power of “heartful” yoga and
meditation in the psychotherapeutic process is also becoming more relevant as
this decade unfolds. The majority of us
have not become believers in the healing power of yoga because we read a
compelling story about it, but because we experienced the shift that comes with
actual practice, and have lived to tell the tale! That’s the good news, for our families and
communities, as well as ourselves. But
the part of the story that interests me, for the purpose of this article, is how
the process of becoming more “transparent” heals the psycho-spiritual heart.
My favorite definition of the word transparent is “easily seen.” When I can see or understand something or
someone easily, I experience an inner relaxation that brings a sense of
rightness or peace. When I feel “seen,”
something deep within me lets go and allows me to feel more connected and whole. There are other definitions having to do with
the transmitting of light, of “shining through,” or being “luminous.” These beautiful words are used to describe
the deeper stages of Realization, yet they apply equally to the process of
healing, which is none other than Source-wholeness-
shining through.
There are many stages of psychological healing,
just as in physical healing, and each stage requires a subsequently higher
level of truthfulness with oneself and one’s relationships. On one end, we can think of the addict and the
requisite admittance of a serious problem that is overpowering at that time,
which is one level of transparency. At
the other end, as with the highest stages of samadhi (consciousness merged with the Absolute), transparency
seems to take care of itself, so practiced is one at non-identification with
the body-mind. But for the majority of
us Regular Joe’s, healing at the level of the mind and emotions requires a commitment
to transparency that cannot be avoided.
This is the “tough” news. It’s
what Carl Jung suggested when he encouraged us to embrace our shadow material,
to examine the parts of our psyche that are so uncomfortable to look at that we
keep them hidden in the un- or sub-conscious mind. Does any one enjoy truly looking at these
hidden parts? Of course not—welcome to psycho-spiritual
practice! No wonder it’s so
challenging—it’s like cleaning the infection on a cut received two weeks ago during
a wilderness camping trip. You didn’t
have the tools you needed to attend to it properly when it happened, and now
that you do, the process of going back, looking fully at something unpleasant
or even putrid, and cleaning it up is just revolting. And don’t tell me we haven’t all done
something in our lives that makes us wince just like that when we think of it!
Which is why heart-centered practices are
such an essential adjunct in the process of becoming more and more transparent:
just as we need compassionate tending to our great physical injuries, so too
the necessity to address our emotional grievances, attending to them with thoroughness and kindness. This is the
two-fold path of viveka and karuna, discernment and compassion.
Something to be deeply curious about,
then, would seem to be the “evolution of transparency,” and whether it affects
one’s ability to express compassion to self and others. If the ability to be
transparent is synonymous with healing/wholeness, what Principles of Transparency
need to be practiced, taught or shared so that more “shining through” occurs? I like to apply a quote from Ken Wilbur, author
and founder of the Integral Institute, to this question, who examines whether
spiritual practice actually affects the process of Realization. “On the absolute, unmanifest side of the
street, realization can never be improved (it has no “moving parts”). On the
relative side of the street, if you continue to grow, your humanity deepens and
your psychological “stuff” becomes more transparent, leading you to ever-deeper
realization. Essentially, it appears that realization evolves.”2
So, to follow this line of reasoning, the
more truthful and transparent one is with oneself, insight deepens, the heart
opens, realization “evolves,” and healing occurs. Let’s look at it in practice.
I had a client who came to me because she
wanted to feel more compassion for her mother.
She had a huge revulsion of her mother, who, being fundamentally cut off
from her own self and therefore from the rest of humanity, could never “see”
her daughter as a separate, unique, extraordinary person. My client wanted to “take care of this before
mother dies,” as she was experiencing severe depression and she feared that her
anger and resentment might unhinge her completely. Over a couple of years we worked with many
tools besides talk therapy, including body-oriented meditations, Container work
(creating psychic boundaries), yoga and movement, vocalization and emotional
expression, Voice Dialogue, and weekly homework. It soon became clear how important it was to not only empathetically and
truthfully explore early psychic wounds, but to subsequently create a shift in
focus, re-framing the origin of these wounds by viewing them with a heart of
gigantic compassion. First, commitment
to transparency, next, the re-frame, then the deeper realizations occurred,
which led to healing. And the process
continues in the present, as new experiences and insights arise.
So here are some Principles of
Transparency to practice:
- Become attuned to the body: listen to and “get” what it
is the body is feeling and hoping to communicate.
- Observe the play of your emotions. When alone, try just allowing an emotion
to flow unhindered, listening like it’s a story someone is reading to you.
- When feeling really uncomfortable, assume its un-worked,
shadow material trying to make itself more conscious. Do not defend against it. Learn to receive the uncomfortable feeling
(fear, revulsion, anger), notice if judgment arises, and try to stay
curious rather than pushing it away.
At the same time, catch when you are projecting onto another.
- Learn to open up different avenues of expression: try
creative movement, emotional releasing, learn to cook or garden, do some
automatic writing, take an art class or just start pushing some paint
around a page. Un-block your
creative flow.
- Meditate. Find a
path, teacher or practice that you resonate with on a feeling level (not
your head saying, “oh this would be good for me”). This also does not mean that it
necessarily feels “easy” or comforting.
- Seek out deeper, more transparent relationships with
those you already have some time with: a friend, a relative, your
partner. Practice sharing something
of yourself that you normally keep inside, something that has nothing (or little)
to do with them.
- Notice when you want shut down or literally go to
sleep. This is shadow material
popping up again. Stay awake!
All of the above principles are obviously
grounded in the body, as we cannot have a healthy human experience without a
fundamental connection and caring of the body.
And yoga practitioners, in theory at least, have a leg up with all this
awareness stuff... Do you? Or are you using yoga to enhance ego or avoid
your wounds? If so, don’t’ worry-- if
you keep practicing, you’ll get to this stuff sooner or later. So get ready for some “open heart surgery,”
and welcome to the human race!
1.
Sean Corne, from http://yogakaruna.com/content/view/75/106/
2.
Ken Wilbur, from http://in.integralinstitute.org/search.aspx?keyword=!spirituality
|