When Yoga Fails
by Kat Allen ©2007
Wait a minute, how can “yoga fail?” Doesn’t yoga address
and have answers for, in some form or another, all the dilemmas and imbalances
known to humankind? Perhaps you’ve never
subscribed to this view, but I once did.
For 15 years I put complete faith in the yogic path, and gratefully
reaped untold benefits. Yet there are numerous
times and circumstances when yoga, as it has been planted in the Western psyche
and body, fails to end bring an end to suffering or bring the expansiveness
“promised” by classical yoga. And that
may not be a terrible thing, either.
The practice of yoga fails when our inner thoughts, the
actions we take in everyday life, and the words that come out of our mouth,
create more suffering for ourselves and our loved ones through ignorance,
judgment, attachment and fear. Yoga
fails when the cult of the body reinforces a false belief that somehow bad
things won’t happen to me. Yoga fails
when I in any way feel superior to others (rather than simply aware of my gifts
or accomplishments), when I “go on the vertical” and put myself below or above
another. I watched for years how both
myself and my yoga students left classes feeling more spacious and calm, only
to get caught by ingrained patterns of relating upon arriving home, with the
subsequent agony of “losing one’s inner peace.” The practice didn’t seem to be
“working” at the deepest personal level, nor especially, at the relational
level, and this was a great concern to me.
Looking back at my life’s journey, and how I devoted the majority of my
adult life to the practice and dissemination of yoga, I wondered if and how I
had “gone wrong.”
To back up a little, just after graduating high school, I
lost four members of my immediate family in a plane crash, and subsequently
lost my entire way of life. I walked
through the following decade out of touch with my body (even though I was a
dancer), fuzzy of mind (although I graduated summa cum laud from U of W), in
the early stages of addiction, and certainly disconnected from my emotional
core. The psychotherapeutic profession
calls it a “freeze” state. Nowadays we
take for granted that if someone is suffering from trauma, addiction, loss or
illness that support is there to help you cope.
Not so in 1976: no counseling or therapy was either suggested or
sought. In 1986, after my first divorce,
I discovered yoga and found a way to be with myself that was entirely new. It was the first encounter with an integrated
approach to healing I’d experienced, and because I was in desperate need, it
was literally life-saving. I committed
to a serious practice of yoga-asana and the study of yoga philosophy, began
teaching a year later, and discovered my sva-dharma,
my personal destiny.
Jump
forward again many years, and after a moderately successful career as a
full-time yoga instructor and studio owner, and a second, heart-breaking
divorce, I transitioned away from the yoga world to learn the science and art
of psychotherapy, while continuing to practice as a yoga therapist and teacher. This decision, based on the concern articulated
above, was both agonizing and liberating, as I had to contend with how yoga was
not only failing me, and had been for many years, but how I felt I was failing
my clients as a “yoga therapist.” My
personal experience was that the American Yoga Tradition (my term) was not able
to address the relational aspects of healing that were necessary for my own and
my clients’ evolution and integration.
Since we
are all relational beings, it would make sense that such an extraordinarily
helpful system such as yoga should address this important aspect of life, and
it does, to a certain extent. The
“restraints,” or yamas, of
Patanjali’s first limb of yoga (non-harming, truthfulness, moderation of the
senses, not stealing, non-covetousness), have to do with one’s relationship
with others as much as with oneself. As well, there are teachings that promote seva/karma
yoga/service—similar to our Judeo-Christian tradition—and these are relational,
even if not in the normal give-and-take we have come to expect in intimate
relating. But let’s be honest, to wholly
practice these principles requires a certain level of consciousness, and
Patanjali knew this. His codification of
the Yoga-Sutra begins with the most advanced states of consciousness and
practices, and made assumptions that anyone undertaking the practice of yoga
was already at a certain level of “spiritual fitness.”
Yet it’s futile
to talk about Truthfulness if a person is not aware of, or in denial of,
particular truths about themselves or their family. And who doesn’t
this describe, at least a few times in a life?
First, there must be sufficient exploration of one’s interior world, the
proverbial “shining a light into the darkness,” including feedback from those
you trust. In this way, a teacher, friend, or psychotherapist can act in the
true form of the Guru, “the remover of darkness.” If one is lucky enough (or ready enough?) to
experience a relationship with a truly enlightened master, then the yogic path
would be all one needs, I’m sure. But
until then, my contention is that classical yoga philosophy does not in any
satisfactory way deal with the particular set of attitudes, constructs,
dysfunctions and abuses that mark the American psyche and society in a
significant way. And it doesn’t offer much in the way of making important
shifts in intimate relating.
Hmm, is
there a problem here? Depends on whether
you subscribe to yoga as a “one-stop-shopping” experience. I know a number of highly developed yogis and
teachers who adamantly defend a single practice as the only source of feedback
they need. But as a wonderful therapist
of mine once said, “Just because you’re a great teacher or practitioner doesn’t
mean you’re great in relationship.” It
all comes down to, what it is you value.
Do you yearn to be in a mature, differentiated relationship that is able
to contain the growth paths of each individual while cementing a deep bond
between you both? Then you may need to
look for guidance outside the yogic model.
Do you sense that there are riches lying within just waiting to be
uncovered, but years of asana and even meditation practice haven’t revealed the
deepest layers yet? Do you tell yourself
that you really gotta change the way you relate to your sick, bitter mother, or
you’ll lose your mind? Does the
hopelessness you feel never completely go away, even if yoga keeps it at bay
for days at a time?
All of the
above point to the need for developing a relationship with your “emotional
body,” and creating emotionally-focused connections. Working with the Emotional Body is an amazing
way to experience and express the very life-force with which we have been
blessed. There are other inspiring ways
to express: through the creative and constructive arts, scientific or spiritual
experimentation, rituals for oneself, family or community, etc. But there’s nothing quite so pure as feeling
one’s feelings solely as energy, and
receiving the feeling into one’s body and consciousness, as a gift. The advantages of doing this are numerous.
1. It
is an incredibly fast way to get in touch with what is really going on.
2. You
are being present to a truth that is already alive, rather than pretending it
isn’t there, or not giving it due recognition.
3. By
not repressing or deflecting a feeling, the body isn’t compelled to hold onto
it elsewhere, necessitating an “acting out” through illness or injury.
4. In
processing a new or old feeling, the somatic body responds with a great release
of energy, since it doesn’t have to use up energy keeping something that is
real “at bay.”
5. In
relationship with our life partners or closest friends, sharing feelings,
without too many words attached to muddy the water, creates a sense of deep
intimacy and connection.
6. The
newness of relating to oneself energetically, moment by moment, ignites
different neurotransmitters in the brain to fire, so that we actually start
thinking new thoughts!
This is Good News in energy-and-emotions-oriented
therapy, and it’s just one modality available to explore! Once we begin to think and perceive
differently, seeing our lives and troubles from a new perspective, we can begin
to make concrete, step-by-step changes. Thus begins or continues the
interweaving of new awareness with one’s cherished ideals, yogic or otherwise,
and one’s personal plans…and isn’t that what this journey through life is all
about?
So if yoga is failing or has
failed you, be grateful, it’s probably a good thing…It means you won’t stop
seeking till you find “the peace that passeth all understanding.”
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